Seismic Twitch

I’d rather it have stopped the day before Thomas died. I’d still have him in my life. I’d still be able to share the cool things I encounter. I’d hear him laugh as he reads comics. I’d see his smile when he sees me. I miss him.

I’m taking on a new position at work. Near the end of the month I’ll be moving into the case worker position. It will mean that I will do a whole lot less support work (which involves building checks, filling supplies, handing out meds and YMCA passes, etc.) and doing more paperwork and more direct support/counseling with residents. I’ll still be running the Reporting Centre, which I was originally hired to do five years ago. The good thing is that part doesn’t involve a whole lot of work. It’s more of a step side-ways.

This move will help me move to the counselor position when the current counselor goes on maternity leave. I’ll be working her job for a year while she’s enjoying having her third baby. When she comes back, I’m move back into the case worker position. Hopefully, this move will help me get a job with probation. The current case worker is moving on to become a CX (guard) at one of the provincial jails.

With the disruption that has been going on with my sleep of late, working day shifts really fucks me over badly. Worse yet, this week I had to switch to an evening shift on one day (working until midnight) because of a doctor’s appointment in the morning. This means that I had to get up at 6 am after working until midnight the day before. On three of the days I had a nap in the evening because I just couldn’t keep awake any longer…usually around 6 pm. I’d wake up at 10 and then go back to bed again at 1 or 2. I’d wake up around 5 and then doze until dragging myself out of bed between 6 and 6:30.

Boy had another toenail removed yesterday. More to the point, he got it re-removed. He’s been having trouble with hangnails on his big toes for the past couple of years. They did a partial excision (taking it off on either side of the nail) but that didn’t stop the problem. Just after Thomas died, Boy kicked an ice buildup on the underside of my car and popped the nail mostly off the nail bed. That was removed the week before the memorial. His other big toe was having issues again with hangnails and so he made the appointment for late yesterday.

When I went in to see the doctor on Tuesday to get forms for Student Loans filled out, I got a requisition for massage therapy. I have to have one in order to have my supplementary health insurance cover the costs. I’ve been having a lot of problems with my stress being reflected in neck and upper back pain. It gets bad enough that it radiates down my back and through to the front of my chest. All I have to do is tip my head to the right and front a bit, and the muscles of my left back stretch out and pain shoots through to the front of my rib cage. I also talked about a couple of other things, but I can’t recall off-hand what they were. We did talk about Thomas and life after his death, both for me and for him (the doctor). He’s a good guy.

I cut the very tip of my pinky finger. You know, one would think that cutting up an avocado wouldn’t be quite such an issue, but I was a little less than careful and managed to cut straight down onto the tip of my finger. It bled like crazy. Now, it’s very contact sensitive so typing is an issue. As well, there is skin protruding above the fingertip that catches on things. I’m wearing one of those fingertip bandages. While offering my fingertip some nice protection, it’s making typing interesting.

My coworkers are hosting a fundraising steak night for Boy and I on Sunday evening. At first I was going to go, then I decided to stay home. It feels awkward that people are raising money for me. Then I decided to go anyway. Boy and I will be attending. Despite how awkward it is going to feel, those people are kind enough to buy tickets, attend and probably buy tickets on a dessert auction, raffle and 50/50 tickets. I should be ok enough to go and thank them.

After that I’ll drop Boy off at home and head to poetry. I’ll be late, probably not have a seat, but I’ll be there. I missed the past two weeks because I just couldn’t get out of the house. I want to go again. I don’t know how long I’ll keep going to the events. For now, it’s almost a compulsion and I feel greatly guilty if I don’t go.

For any Canadians out there reading. If you have Firefox and a subscription to Netflix, you can watch American content (the Canadian content being pathetically paltry) by downloading an add-on called “Media Hint”. This will allow you to view American content without having to use an American DNS. It makes life much less trouble. I’m disappointed that I haven’t been able to see the A&E programs I like (The First 48, for one), but there are lots of other programs that I’ve not looked at. Right now I’m watching “Alaska State Troopers”. I look forward to seeing more programs. I have Boy to thank for this joyous addition to our lives. He’s been watching all kinds of new shows, which is nice for him, because aside from his very sore toe, he’s been sick with a nasty cold and having something to entertain him as been a good thing.

There’s not a whole lot more to say right now. I’m thinking of laying down for another nap.

It’s a word I rather like. I’m going to use it at work at the first opportunity.

I’m sick today. For the past two days I’ve been working with the disadvantage of laryngitis. My voice would cut in and cut out. Paging people over the loudspeaker was an interesting case of frustration to the point of having to ask the boss to do it for me. Today I woke up with a sore throat so I called in sick. There’s no point in being there if I hurt and I have no voice. I have to go in on the weekend so that I can write up the monthly and quarterly reports. It shouldn’t take too terribly long. I’ll not have to do the usual support work. I’ll just close myself into Admin and work away.

Today marks 1 month, 4 weeks, since Thomas died. Perhaps that’s why I’m sick. Perhaps my body just had enough and needed to shut down for a little while. I miss him terribly. I know that’s to be expected. I miss him all the time, but sometimes it’s more difficult to deal with than others. For example, when I’m reading comics and find one that I know would cause him to laugh, I’d email him the link. I loved hearing his chuckle across the rooms. There are a hundred different things that happen through the day that I would have either told him about or shared with him in some way or another. He’s not there anymore to do that with.

On the bright side, I’ve only gotten one, “He’s in a better place.” My co-worker said that people would say some very stupid things in their attempt to comfort me. Thus far there have only been two, this person and my brother-in-law. Last night Boy showed me the sympathy cards he got at work. It was very sweet of them. He was rather impressed that, as well as his co-workers, all the supervisors, and managers and even one of the owners signed the cards. He may not be over the moon about his job, he does (for the most part) like the people he works with. As well, Thomas worked there the year before last so several of them knew him and knew how close Boy was to his Dad.

That reminds me. I have to arrange to have the phone bill sent to me so it can be paid. I also have to talk to him about cancelling his phone and changing me to the primary account holder.

That’s all I want to write.

Today I went to Staples to have the memorial card things copied. It turned out that their version of Microsoft Word was different from mine and it borked up my formatting. I was instructed to go home and create a pdf of the document. So that’s what I did. I had to download some free programming to create that though. With that all done, back I go across town to Staples. A proof was printed up and approved. Tomorrow I’ll go and pick up 150 copies, all folded as I need for $140. That’s not too terrible considering the paper quality is better than I’d first considered, they’re colour copies and they’re folding them for me. This means I avoid paper cuts from folding.

After I finished at Staples I went off to Early’s Farm and Garden to check out some pet supplies. I wanted more of the bowls that can be hung off the side of the cage. They’re really handy in that they prevent the chinchillas from using the food dishes as litter boxes as they are prone to do with dishes that sit at the bottom of the cage. I got two more (for a total of 3). I also picked up an edible tunnel (made of alfalfa) for them to play in and chew up, and a sweet treat (honey, grains and fruit) to attach to the side of the cage. I filled their bowls, their hay rack, put the treat on the side of the cage and filled their water bottle. When I left all the chinchillas were happily feeding on their various food items.

After I finished with the chinchillas I went to my bosses office just to do a quick decompression. I sat quietly fora while and we talked about some mundane things. Some was about work (new residents coming in) and also about me possibly doing some cross stitch work for his wedding attendants. He’s trying to decide between me doing the work and buying gamer cufflinks he’s seen. It was a nice quiet distraction from the stuff I’ve been dealing with of late.

Tomorrow I pick up the memorial cards (they’re paid for). Then I go pick up the key for the church. At 4 I go and pick up a co-worker and head out to Costco for our bit of shopping that needs to be done. She doesn’t have a car so getting out there is a bit of an issue. As well, it means that she’ll be able to do a little bit of stocking up. It’s hard to carry the quantities they sell on the bus and a cab is an added expense. Having me provide the ride makes her life a little bit easier. It gives me some company, which I appreciate.

I’m still liking my keyboard. As I recall, I noted that the action is a bit stiffer than my old keyboard. This requires that I slow down a little bit (have to use more pressure to complete the keystroke) so I make fewer typos. I decided to check out the keyboard buttons. I have a single button that will bring up the calculator. I rather like that. I don’t have to hunt for it anymore.

Boy and I are still in a fairly stable financial place. I have some of the tax refund left. Despite next week’s pay being taken up by rent, having the cushion means that mid-month pay next month will be able to be divided so I don’t lose an entire cheque to rent next round. Rent here is stupid expensive.

I’m not planning on going anywhere tonight. I’ll hang out here at home and either watch videos on television, watch videos on my computer, read comics on the notebook (Oh My Gods!), and/or crosswords (or a combination of any of the above that will also include editing/writing poetry).

My sister may or may not come down tomorrow. It all depends on the weather. We’re expecting yet more snow both tomorrow and Friday. Today it’s stupid windy. If the weather isn’t good then I’d rather she just stay home and come again after the melt. I don’t want to be attending another memorial service, and I told her that. While I appreciate her wanting to be here to support me, when you get down to it, Thomas is dead. He’s not going to be here for a visit anyway. It would be different if he were on borrowed time and there was a bit of a time limit.

That’s about it.

It’s now been 8 days since Thomas died. It’s hard to believe that it’s been that long, or short a time, depending on the time of day. When I wake up I feel like he’s not gone, that all I have to do is walk out of our bedroom and he’ll be sitting at his computer in the living room. It’s crushing when I realize that he’s not there and will never be there for me.

I’ve mostly accepted that he’s gone. I mean, it’s not like I have a choice in the matter, but I’m not falling apart every two or three minutes, just once or twice in an hour or two.

Boy wasn’t feeling well today, so didn’t go into work. Instead we went to the mail terminal and picked up a letter that’d been sent to me via registered mail. Then we went to the bank and off to OTV (a computer store) for a new gaming mouse and web cam for him. Instead of staying awake after Boy called in sick, I went back to bed and slept for another 3 hours. When Boy woke me up to do the errands I found that I didn’t want to get out of bed. Aside from being comfortable under my covers in a chilly room (the window was open) I didn’t really want to face the world. I put aside my desire and got up to take care of business.

Part of today’s business was to get some more groceries. I wanted to get in a supply of meatstuffs to freeze. I also wanted to get some pvc gloves (non-laytex rubber type gloves) because I’d gone through all my supply. I buy my own because I dislike the powdered laytex ones they use at work. I use the gloves for peeling oranges, peeling and cutting up various vegetables, and in handling meat. I use them at work for keeping my hands cleaner when I change the chinchilla cage or when I’m doing fills (making sure there are coffee and snack supplies for residents) so as not to spread around my germs.

Boy is off tonight, playing with his friends. I’m glad he’s connected with some of this friends again. I hope that they maintain this connection.

I got some yoga pants today. It’s taken me this long to fall under the thrall of the stretchy material. I can see why so many women wear them on a daily basis. I’m not sure that I’m ever going to take these off other than to change into another pair of yoga pants. They’re beyond comfortable. They’re like wearing another skin that was custom made to my body. I’m definitely going to get more of them.

My co-workers have organized a fundraising steak dinner for Boy and I. I work with the most amazing people. Thomas died without any insurance and, since I was the one working, we had no savings to speak of. If it weren’t for the tax refund I’d be royally screwed. Their efforts will help Boy and I reduce the stress.

That’s about it. I miss Thomas so much, but I’m becoming resigned to his death.

I’m not going into work tomorrow. Tomorrow is reserved for more of the business of death…and life.

I have a doctor’s appointment at 1015 tomorrow morning. There I will talk to my doctor about my thyroid meds. I’m also going to ask him about Thomas’s echo cardiogram and why it didn’t show if a blockage was happening. This test was done in late January or early February. One would have thought that if the arteries were blocked enough to kill him, that they would have shown sign of a reduction in blood flow. Yeah, it’s going to be a good conversation.

Tomorrow I also start the task of moving bank accounts to my name only, and figuring out what to do with the $9 and something he has in a savings account he had set up for PayPal. The utilities, internet, cell phones and a few things I can’t think of right now also have to be changed over.

Today I filled out the application for widow’s and death benefits through Canada Pension. I discovered that I have to have a copy of our marriage certificate for the widow’s benefit, so I did that online with the province. I asked for a certified copy. That’ll make it easier to have a copy certified for the application. The death benefit I can send out right away. The widow’s benefit application will have to wait a few weeks.

My co-workers are hosting a steak night fundraiser in April to help Dylyn and I with expenses. I do work with a lovely bunch of coconuts, really. They did all this and let me know about it tonight. Already a friend of Thomas has donated a photo session to the silent auction. We are truly fortunate in our choices of friends.

Dylyn and I went out for sushi for lunch. I picked him up from work, took him to the bank so he could deposit his tax refund, then it was off to make the arrangements for the venue for Thomas’s memorial. The woman who is the administrator at the Unitarian Church is an acquaintance we’d lost touch with over the years. She made the whole thing quite easy. Despite the ease of this, neither Boy nor I wanted to go home. So we went out for lunch.

Thanks to the heavy carb content of the lunch, I needed a nap when we got home. When I woke I found that I was quite nauseated. The nausea increased as I sat at my computer, then I got the news of the steak dinner thing and that just blew it out of the water. Fortunately for me and my computer, I didn’t. Instead I had a nice cuppa of ginger tea that Dylyn made for me…ginger tea with honey.

He told me that for the most part he was okay. However, whenever we deal with anything related to the memorial creates a lot of sadness for him. I can relate. He’s been such a treasure, and I rely heavily on him, but I try to make sure that he’s not overwhelmed. I have friends I can talk to and debriefing skills he knows about, but hasn’t practiced. The division of labour works for us.

So that’s the update. If anyone local reads my blog and isn’t friended with Dylyn, Thomas or I: Thomas’s (Bran Everseeking)memorial will be on Saturday, March 23, 2013 from 1230 to 1530 (3:30 pm) at the Unitarian Church, 213 2 St E (east of Lorne Ave, west of Victoria) . Children are welcome as he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Please join me and Dylyn Dunbar to celebrate the life of a truly good person. It’s an open mike, so you can share your experiences with Thomas. There will be a luncheon afterwards in the basement.

In lieu of flowers donations to the Avenue Community Centre, Canadian Diabetes Association and/or the Heart and Stroke Foundation will be gratefully accepted.

I haven’t posted in a very long time. Sorry. Chalk it up to me being lazy, really, really, really, lazy.

Let’s see, what have I been up to the past few months?

I spent time trying to get rid of various chinchilla babies that were born the Lucky (who got lucky) and Lola, the long suffering mom. Her first two litters weren’t litters, they were single babies. The next was two babies. After that she had 4. I think the four took the life out of her because she died this past Tuesday. I have no idea why, she wasn’t that old. But now I’m left with two female juveniles, one male and Lucky (who’s no longer as lucky as he once was). I’m going to get rid of the two females and keep the males. This way I won’t have interbreeding and I won’t have to worry about new babies.

My health, up to this past week, has been quite good. I haven’t been following the Paleo diet as I should and I’m struggling with wanting bread (a lot). I’ve also been eating sugars in the form of fancy shcmancy French vanilla coffee. I discovered recently that 7-Eleven does a sugar free French vanilla that’s quite tasty so I think I”ll be raiding their stores when I can afford to buy it. Over the last weekend I was feeling somewhat odd, itchy, throat, glands a little swollen…on Wednesday I was slammed with a throat so sore it was hard to swallow. I went home early that day and missed the next because of it. Today my nose started running. With luck this means that the cold is nearly run its course and I’ll be well again.

Work is going swimmingly. In July I’ll be taking over the counselor position. The current counselor is pregnant and she’ll be going on maternity leave (in Canada it’s a year long of paid maternity leave through the Employment Insurance program – so long as you’ve worked long enough). Well, technically, it’s less than a year with what’s called “parental leave” that the second spouse can take so long as the mother goes back to work. I think it’s 8 weeks of parental leave and 44 of maternity leave…Meh, it doesn’t matter. Either way I’m in the position for a year. She plans on returning so it’s a temporary thing.

I realized, this past while, that working with younger people has it’s draw back, especially if they’re your supervisors. I’m 52, 30 years older than either of them. This means barring them moving to other work, or being killed/crippled, I’m not going to advance in my present work place. This also means that I’ve been looking for, and applying to positions that I might qualify for at other places. Nothing has panned out, but I need something that pays more and offers me at least the hope of advancement. The worst of it is that I really do enjoy my job a whole lot. Though, yes, I’d rather win the lottery (who wouldn’t?) I don’t have issue going to work or being there and doing my job. Sometimes being middle aged sucks.

I’ve done some photography. Not a lot. Just some photos of a friend’s baby (Keller – who turned 4 weeks a day or two before the photos were taken). Here’s a couple that I processed (click on the image to see it at full size):

Keller snoozing on Thomas's chest.

and:

Keller's feet, Thomas's thumb.

For a time I got into making jewelry again. I haven’t for a few weeks because I’ve been doing cross stitch instead. I have a few presents to make, including one for my boss’s wedding. I’m still not feeling hugely inspired, despite making bracelets and some earrings. I discovered that some findings (that’s what the bits and bobs are called) aren’t nickel free. Specifically they’re small horseshoe shaped wire guides that help keep wire from kinking and breaking. I used them to attach the stone bracelet bands to a watch face (they went around the strap posts). Sadly, I react to the metal in those so I have to find some other solution to that issue.

I’ve been doing crafts with a co-worker/friend lately. She’s mad into scrapbooking and seems to like having the time set aside specifically to help her actually get stuff done. She’s been on two holidays that she’s working on, one to the Eastern USA/Canada and the other to a Caribbean cruise she went to in January. She’s quite the social butterfly so she finds that if she doesn’t set aside specific time to work on her scrapbooks, she doesn’t get anything done. It looks like a fun hobby and, heaven knows, I’m tempted, but it’s one that involves “collecting” stuff. I’m not so much into that part. I mean, when I die, what would people do with my scrapbooks. They would have little meaning to anyone other than myself, or possibly Thomas or Boy. It’s not like anything I do is historic importance. So, despite loving the smell of the paper, and seeing the gluing, sticking, pens, cutting, and other adult kindergarten activities, I’ll stick to what I’m doing right now.

We’re hoping to move from our present location. I don’t know where in town we’ll go, but we want to get out of this place. What’ll probably happen is that we’ll go into an apartment. Somehow, having an impersonal corporate landlord is much preferable to this one. Sad, to say.

I have a “smart phone”, android platform, fun to play with, has little batter life, phone. We decided to drop the land line and each of us has our own smart phone. I can text and call anywhere in Canada at no extra cost with my plan. International calls and texts are extra. If you want my phone number send me an email. If I know who you are, I’ll send it to you.

Well, It’s coming up on 0300 and I have to be up to shower and then head over for craft time.

I’ll try to update more often. Promise.

This is what’s been happening since I last posted:
• I lived with the drain in until today (so, 4 weeks). The site had ceased to drain off much fluid and the drain was beginning to cause more irritation so it was removed this afternoon. I can now sleep on my right side but I have a towel on the bed because the drain site will leak fluid until it heals over.
• I was freed to drive again today as well. Bran has been very sweet about driving me around to various places. He’s now free to not.
• Bran fell the week before my surgery. It wasn’t until I was home and his wrist continued to bother him that he went into his own doctor and discovered that his wrist was, in fact, broken. He was sent to one of the hospital clinics for a brace. The techs there put him in a cast. The cast should be coming off in a couple of weeks.
• November 11, 2011 was my 10 year anniversary of blogging. That’s right, ten years ago on that day I opened my Diary-X account. About a month or so later I opened it up to other readers and then began reading the blogs of other people. VUBoOQ‘s blog was the first blog of another person I read. He was Enviroboi back then.
• We got snow. A lot of it is gone because of a recent thaw. I had a slip and fall earlier in the week on an icy patch (since been deiced with a vengeance). Luckily I didn’t hurt by belly at all, just a sore ankle and left wrist.
• I had my nails done (gel) and though was generally pleased, I was specifically unhappy so I won’t be going back to the place I’d gotten them done. It’s been weird having long nails and I had to get used to them. I still hit the wrong keys a lot.
• Boy has become unhappy at work. There was a change of supervisors and the current one is an asshole. Actually, he’s the one that Bran called an asshole and got a few days off because of it.
• Bran began working on creating my hobby/work space. I posted a couple of starting photographs on my Tumblr if you want to see what the beginning looks like. I’ll post regular updates as we progress on making a workable space. It’s where all my hobby stuff is, theoretically at least, supposed to be stored.
• I got a light box so I can trace photos and make embroidery/beading patterns. Using it has been fun. It gives me the illusion of being artistic without actually having any talent.
• I haven’t lost any weight since coming out of hospital. That’s to be expected though. My activity level is significantly lower than it was before I went in. I shall be joining Bran 3X/week at the Saskatoon Field House for his exercise in the Cardiac Program offered there. I can join him for $25 a month and we’ll be walking or cycling. I figure I can support him and have motivation to get my ass moving for an extended time.
• I continue to go into work to do the administrative work for the program I work. It gets me out of the house and forces me to be somewhat social. It also enables me to see my boss live up to his commitment of wearing a fake mustache for Movember. He can’t grow his own mustache to save his butt, so he said that for every $200 raised he’s wear a fake for a week. Needless to say I was the first one to donate. Yes, I’m evil and he knows it.
• Bran, Boy and I continue to take care of our chinchillas. I’m hoping they did tonight. I went to bed to have a nap with Bran and then asked if I could stay in bed when the alarm went off to go pick up Boy and do the cage. Bran said it was ok so that’s what I did. When I got up 1/2 hour ago Boy had already gone to bed and Bran was also in bed.

Thank you to all for your well wishes during my recovery. Having support really does help.

Last night we went to Early’s to get chinchilla food. I chose the 25 pound bag of chinchilla pellets. After we brought it home I set it down in the living room thinking that I would repackage it into smaller bags, zip lock types of about a kilo each. Well, the cat became particularly enamoured of the bag. She nudged it with her head and “rasped” on it with her non-existent front claws. After she managed to knock it over she climbed on it and “rasped” on it yet again and then started chewing the bag, trying to peel the paper away and get inside. She has never done that, not even to her own cat food bags. I have to wonder what the deal is about this bag. I wonder what she’s going to do when I open the bag to repackage the contents. I wonder if she’d eat the pellets or pee on them (some green litters are made of alfalfa. This stuff is made with timothy grass and other nutrients.

Today was a much easier day than yesterday in some ways and in others it kicked my ass across the room. I got up not long after 6 am and showered (beating my neighbour to the shower is such a satisfying and warm experience), made breakfast (leftover steak and eggs), prepped my lunch (leftover steak, cole slaw and a tomato), dressed and read my comics. I was into doing something, I can’t remember what, when I discovered it was time to leave for work. So in a relatively sedate flurry (if that’s possible) I packed up and drove off to work.

First off, the computer at front desk kacked it. Sometime last week a piece of malware was downloaded to it and it crippled the malware removal program and borked the system. The boss appeared to have it mostly fixed. At least I could use it yesterday to do the reports. However I had to go down to the office computer to finish the weekly reports because it was dead this morning. He’s unhappy that something was either downloaded or someone visited a site that wasn’t supposed to be gone to (like porn) to get this bit of nastiness. Other than weekly reports I don’t use that computer at all, even when I don’t bring much to do. I’ll play solitaire (with real cards) before I’ll go on that thing.

After that it was quiet, management wise. Guys came and went, business happened, mail got delivered, meals were cooked. However at lunch time I bit myself, twice. I bit my right lower lip and my left exterior side of my tongue. Both of those hurt a lot. And you know that once you bit a bit of your mouth it’s going to swell up and get bitten again. Now I talk funny because my tongue is sore and swollen.

I started getting charlie horses in my left neck/shoulder muscles. I don’t know why. I haven’t done anything particularly strenuous. They just decided to suddenly cramp up…painfully cramp up.

Add to that bit of joy is my back, the disc is bulging out onto my sciatic nerve putting pressure on it. This is causing my left hip and knee to hurt.

The piece de resistance was stepping out of the kitchen pantry after I finished doing fills and having my right ankle twist painfully under me. I didn’t fall, but it was a close thing. After this adventure I went to my supervisor’s office, sat down and bitched at her for a little while about my misadventures with my body. Luckily for me it was near the end of the day. This meant that all I had to do was get through the next hour (which would include a building check) without falling down the stairs or having something fall on my head. I managed to safely make it to the end of my shift and drive home without incident.

What a day.

Bran’s day was better. A few weeks ago, during the fundraising/membership drive at CFCR the local community radio station, Bran donated some money and got a membership for himself. He got, in thanks, a t-shirt that I wear, a tote bag I use, a few blues discs that he listens to and a membership card that has given us 10% off on our purchases of pet food at Early’s. Today he got more good news. He won a t-shirt, a CD, a hat and tickets to the Johnny Winter concert happening tomorrow night. I get the t-shirt because it’s only a large (and he’s a lot larger than that, even when he’s skinny). The rest he’s going to enjoy. I thought about going to the concert but blues isn’t my favourite genre and I’m sure there is someone else in his life who would enjoy the concert more than I would. He’s quite happy about the whole thing.

I hope tomorrow is a better day, physically.

Since it’s been a while since my late post I thought I’d use bullets to update you on my life as it is right now (and has been for the past couple of weeks):

• Remember how proud I was that I put together the Ikea dresser and chiffonier? Maybe I forgot to post about it, but I did do that and I was proud of my l337 skillz with the screw driver and whatchamacallit key thing. I got a sore wrist from doing that. The reward of feeling good about putting together the furniture was superseded by the growing discomfort in my right wrist. Gradually I was unable to do much because any twisting of my wrist brought sharp pangs in my wrist. So off I went to the doctor. I was worried that I suddenly developed arthritis in that joint. The good thing is that it wasn’t arthritis. The bad thing is that I’d created tendinitis in my wrist. I was told that I should up my intake of ibuprofen (which would also necessitate a new and stronger anti-acid medication) and/or get a wrist splint. The splint thing is to keep the wrist from twisting, thus allowing the tendons to rest and ergo the swelling to reduce. I chose the splint alone. It will take my wrist longer to heal, but I won’t have to take stronger medications. It’s a semi-win-win situation.
• Work is a bit screwy at the moment. We’re still waiting on the security clearance for the staff who is going to take the full time night position. This means that we have some issues with filling her spot until she’s able to be trained and get working. We also lost one of the part-time staff. She got her degree and has started working at a job she’s enjoying very much. So we’ve been down for her time as well. Today is my weekend. While I grant that I had all day yesterday after I finished my overnight shift training a new staff, I had to recover from a week of overnights to shift my sleep pattern so that I can work 2 evening shifts and then move my body to day shifts for the remainder of the week. Yeah.
• The house is still for sale. There have been three or four tours through, once last Tuesday while I slept the day away. Bran asked them to be quiet since I was on overnight shift and would be sleeping. I didn’t hear them at all and didn’t wake until about 5 pm. Yay!
• I still like my Ute and like driving it.
• The weather was hot for a while. It was not only hot, but it was wickedly humid. Stepping outside of the house, work or my Ute was like stepping into a bowl of hot soup. I drank so much water and yet was hardly going to the bathroom because I was sweating it all away. Work was hard. The upper floors aren’t air conditioned so doing room and building checks were torture. Happily for staff we get to spend at least part of our day in air conditioned comfort. Many of our residents work in construction so they didn’t get a break except when they were on main floor./li>
• We got one of those portable air conditioners and it’s installed in the living room. It truly has been a saving grace for us. We have three desk top computers in the living room and the conditioner has kept the space livable. Too bad the cool air doesn’t reach the bedrooms (even with fans encouraging it on its way). We’re now getting more livable temperatures. We do expect Monday to be hot again, but nothing like it had been and it’s only for one day. I can survive that.
• My fancy light-up keyboard, the one I was so happy to have, was incompatible with my computer. That made me sad. It stopped the computer from completing the start-up routine. I don’t know how it did it though. We took the computer in and they confirmed that everything was working right. Bran brought it home and started plugging in things to see what was holding up production. It turned out to be my favourite peripheral. Damn. I’m using Bran’s cordless keyboard now. It’s smaller than my light-up keyboard and I can remove it from the drawer without worrying about cords, but it’s not the same.
• Today I did a manual update of my WordPress. It drives me crazy that I can’t get an automatic update to work. It wouldn’t be so bad if it would work just once, or if it would stop telling me the update failed and I should attempt it again. I mean, it’s updated. That should disappear. I guess next time (by my calculations that should be sometime later this week) they come out with another update, if I don’t try to do the automatic update, maybe that message will disappear.
• Along with the update I upped my security with a plugin called Secure WordPress and will hopefully reduce the spam making it into my spam filter with SI CAPTCHA Anti-Spam that will work along with Askimet. I doubt I get enough traffic to attract anyone who could hack into my blog, but hey, it can’t hurt, right?
• We haven’t gone to see the last Harry Potter movie. I haven’t seen part 1 of it yet so we can’t until I do. Well, it’s also possible that I won’t see it in the theatre considering my rather profound dislike of crowds and people in general. I might just wait until it comes out on video and then watch the entire series. I am rather sad that the story is ending and has ended in the books. They were fun reads and the movies were fun to watch. It’s a good thing I like repeats or else it would be more tragic.
• We haven’t managed to get our spit together to get out of town for a picnic and photo session yet. We had wanted to do so a week or two back (on a Sunday) but the weather was less than cooperative and insisted on raining. While all of our DSLRs are water resistant, they are not water proof. We are also limited in the number of lenses that are water resistant as well. This means no rainy day photos outside. I tried to get pics of the kitty, but she wouldn’t be still enough to get any decent shots. She’s rather camera shy with me.
• I went out and was social on Wednesday. That was the day we went out for “drinks” (mine was ginger ale since I had to work later that night) to say farewell to the staff I spoke about earlier who got a job she enjoys. We all sat around and munched on snackies, drank our drinks and talked shop in a way we can’t at work. It was quite a bit of fun. I gave her (the staff who was leaving) a ride home afterwards. When I got home (round about 10) Bran was beginning to get worried since I don’t usually stay away from home that long.
• Bran got a surprise in the mail this month. It came on a day when he was feeling grumpy and out of sorts. Some time before the lock-out of Canada Post workers I’d ordered the latest Dominic Deegan book. Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire is one of Bran’s favourite on-line comics. We have the other books the artist/writer/creator, Mookie, has published. When I saw the new book was out I ordered it for Bran and didn’t tell him. So when it came I just handed him the envelope and told him it was his. It cheered him up a lot. That made me happy.
• I want Dairy Queen. Specifically I want a Turtle Pecan Cluster Blizzard with cheese cake. Failing that a small or medium cone will suffice.
• If it weren’t for the fact that I’d end up with a sore back I would be hiding away from the world today. There are a lot of things I could be doing, but I have no wish to leave the house, let alone bed. But since I would get a sore back/hips/ribs if I laid in bed as long as I’d like I’ll make do and embed myself into my spot on the couch.
• I have two sore knuckles. They are somewhat bruised from the splint. They ram into the splint when I try to do things the splint is designed to prevent the motion of doing…like working with a mouse. I tried using Bran’s tablet. It worked like a track pad on a laptop but was larger. It worked fairly well, too. The problem I had with it was that my finger tips would dry out and the tablet wouldn’t be able to “feel” what I was doing. I felt like I was slowly polishing my finger prints off. So now when I have to do a large amount of mouse work (like playing minesweeper) or when I have to type a lot, I take the splint off. I still can’t mouse for long periods of time, but it’s getting better.
• I finally have my Rosetta Stone French lessons. I might have mentioned them before, I can’t remember and a quick scan of my previous entries doesn’t reveal anything of note. I decided some time ago to increase my ability in Canada’s other official language. Since buying all the lessons from Rosetta Stone is as cheap as taking a single semester class of basic French at university, I decided on the one I can do at my leisure. I should probably go to one of those teacher stores and pick up books and such to teach myself the grammar and such. Oh, and a becherel would probably be useful too. I’m sure I spelt it wrong, but a becherel is a book containing conjugations of various verbs. I can’t use the discs at work but I could do the work in written French. Being semi- or fully- bilingual would mean that getting a job with the feds would be much easier. So far I’ve learned things like: he drinks, she drinks, they drink, she reads, he reads, they read, he wears pants, she wears a skirt, he buys a hat and she buys a dress. Thrilling, yes? My biggest challenge still appears to be the “eu” sound. Dad spent a significant amount of time trying to help me get the sound of those two letters correct when I was in high school. I think, if I recall correctly, I managed to get it right enough times he was satisfied. I could be wrong. It’s equally possible that he simply ceded defeat in the face of my anglophone accent.
• Boy hasn’t shaved for a while. I can tell because he’s got sideburns with a tacky and sparse beard. I still grow a better moustache than he does despite it his protestations to the contrary.

I believe that’s it. I sit and wonder what else there is to say, and frankly, there’s nothing.

The inheritance came through last week. This means that we are able to afford certain things that we otherwise wouldn’t have been able to. Bran and I now each have our own vehicles. In total we spent more than we probably should have, but each auto is only 3 years old, they’re both covered by 2 year warranty that covers nearly everything that could bork out, such as the electricals, drive train, motor, and nearly everything else mechanical. Being used cars that is a good thing. Bran got a red truck.

I got a silver SUV (gets reasonably good gas mileage – better than the Volvo did). It was taken back into the shop to get a bit of body work done, detailed and have a sun glasses visor replaced. It was taken in on Tuesday for the work and I got it back today. I’m pleased as punch with it. It’s easy to drive, quite manoeuvrable. I like how I fit in the driver seat. The signal lights turn off automatically. It’s an automatic so no more shifting gears (though for the first couple of days I was automatically trying to find that nasty clutch – hit the emergency brake once or twice because of that). It has tilt steering so I can get in and out comfortably and have the wheel set at where it’s comfortable. I also don’t have to duck down to get into it, it’s just a slide across from a standing position. It’s a scary thing as previous to my first ever all-my-own vehicle is that I’m enjoying driving. That took Boy and Bran by surprise. Me too, when it comes to that.

Boy doesn’t like driving at all. He didn’t want an auto of his own. We are requiring him to get his driver’s license. He has his learner’s right now. Instead of a car he chose to get a very zoomy, very fast computer. He’s extremely happy with it. It’s a desk top beast that sits on his end table in the living room. They keyboard mouse and flat panel monitor sit on a table in front of his chair. Boy also got a new DS so I got his old one. This one has a hinge that actually works. Gotta love hand-me-overs.

I got a cheapo purse too. It was only $20. I desperately needed something to replace my old purse that was falling apart. The new one is made entirely of vinyl so it gets mighty crispy and stiff in the cold. It’ll get replaced when I find a leather one I like enough. I’ll hang onto this one as a spare. It also doesn’t have long enough shoulder straps.

My shifts at work are still all over the place. Last week was the first time I had a steady week of regular shifts. This week I was supposed to work evenings on Monday, Wednesday and Friday then days on Tuesday and Thursday. That didn’t work out as planned. Our night shift person is sick so I worked most of my evening shift last night and then did the graveyard shift right after. I worked until nearly 7 and then walked home to spend a bit of time relaxing. Then I walked back to work again so that I could be there to relieve the counsellor who needed to go home at 9. By the time the shift was over my knees were seriously aching and I was ready to collapse into a coma of fatigue. I got a call this afternoon and she’s still sick so instead of relaxing and spending a leisurely night at home and having a short shift tomorrow evening, I’m covering her shift again from midnight to 8 am tomorrow. Happily I have my baby back so I don’t have to walk to work again. It’ also means that I get some nice overtime.

I reserved the hotel rooms we’ll need in May when we got to Edmonton for the Rammstein concert. It’s boy’s 19th birthday present. He and a friend are being treated to the concert and two nights in a hotel (they get their own room) as well as all meals paid for. Of course I’ll be paying for any incidentals that Boy will want in terms of shopping. I should have Bran make sure he takes cash to the concert (yes, he’s going too – with ear plugs to protect his hearing) for t-shirts and such that Boy is bound to want as memorabilia. While they’re at the concert I’m going to be relaxing at the hotel. The next day we’re hitting the West Edmonton Mall for shopping. I want to hit up Cotton Ginny as they don’t have one in Saskatchewan anymore at all. It’s a great place for fat women to get good quality, natural fibre clothes. I’ll probably get another purse, if I can find one I like.

As some of you may know, I’ve been making a stole for Bran to wear when he does hand fastings (pagan type weddings). It’s nearly done. The beading is complete, I’ve got most of it attached to a very long piece of canvas (9’5″ long to be more accurate). I put black ribbon around the whole thing except one end. I’ll be finishing that up this weekend. Then I will sew on wide black ribbon for the back to hide the threads and knots that tie the beads to the canvas and finish by the final sewing of the side ribbon to hide all ravelling edges. I’ll take a picture of it when I’m done. After that I’m making him moccasins to wear. They’ll have sheep skin insoles and be made of either cow or deer leather. One of the residents is willing to teach me how to make them and they’d be ideal for Bran’s feet. I might have to get a rubber sole put on them to ensure they last and to further protect his diabetic feet.

I start paying student loans back really soon. I may be able to arrange to have my loan frozen (where they don’t charge interest on it) so that everything I pay on it goes straight to the principle of the loan rather than the interest for 14 years. If that’s the case I can apply every 6 months to continue that for 5 years. That’ll mean I can pay a significant portion of the loan without being screwed by interest charges.

I’m watching Dog the Bounty Hunter. Seriously, what’s with the hair? Dog has a mullet with a Great white Shark Alfalfa thing happening in front and on top. Then two of his sons (or one of them) with that long rat tail thing. Beth’s hair is relatively normal though an unnatural shade of blonde. Her boobs! My Goddess, her bodacious tatas defy gravity! She also has shoes that can kill ants in the corners of room. If they curled up she’d have genie shoes.

It’s still winter here. I’m seriously tired of the snow. I’m not sick of the cold. I like the cold, but I’m seriously tired of the temperatures the thermostats have to be set at in the building at work to make sure that none of the pipes freeze and flood the building. I mean, if it’s a choice between the two I’ll take the tropical rain forest temperatures. I mean, I’ve already had to deal with two cold weather related floods (one a regular plumbing pipe, the other a frozen heating pipe) and I don’t want to have a repeat of those adventures. But speaking as a middle-aged, fat woman whose body temperature runs higher than most other human beings, those tropical rain forest temperatures suck donkey balls.

We will soon be looking to buy a house. We’re thinking of working with a mortgage broker as they do the work that we’d have to do by going to banks, comparing interest rates and mortgage amounts, etc. We’re trying to figure out if that would be worth the extra cost. It’s hard for the two of us to coordinate our off-work time together right now. Then it’ll be finding a real estate agent to organize house viewing and make an offer and buy a house. I want to do this while it’s still wintery outside as house prices tend to be lower in winter. Then we can give notice to our passive-aggressive landlord and get out of renting. Of course we’re getting an insured mortgage that would be automatically paid in the case of either Bran’s or my death. We’re too old to not go for that option. It’s a way of making sure that the other spouse (or Boy) will be sure to have a home after the other income is gone.

This week we heard of the death of Brian Jacques , the writer of our favourite books. He wrote the Redwall series that we’ve been reading since Boy was 3 years old. Our interest in the books began with the television with the animated production of Redwall. After watching and being charmed by the series we began purchasing the books. I used to read for an hour a night (this usually got one chapter read) each night between 7 and 8, just before Boy’s bedtime. We started the tradition with The Long Patrol and progressed through the series. I also read the Harry Potter series this way. We now own all the published works to date. Sadly there won’t be any more Redwall books. I heartily recommend the books to anyone, young and old, who likes adventure, engaging characters and a general good read. Like the Harry Potter series, these books have been read repeatedly by all of us through the years.

I have 4 new bras. They’re Wonder Bra 18 hour types. They’re very comfortable. I will be getting more at Cotton Ginny in Edmonton. Sure, this might be more than you wanted to know about me, but bras have become important in my life. I like being supported and having the appearance of being “perky”. I’ve never been “perky” so it’s a novel look.

That’s about it from here.