Seismic Twitch

I’d rather it have stopped the day before Thomas died. I’d still have him in my life. I’d still be able to share the cool things I encounter. I’d hear him laugh as he reads comics. I’d see his smile when he sees me. I miss him.

I’m taking on a new position at work. Near the end of the month I’ll be moving into the case worker position. It will mean that I will do a whole lot less support work (which involves building checks, filling supplies, handing out meds and YMCA passes, etc.) and doing more paperwork and more direct support/counseling with residents. I’ll still be running the Reporting Centre, which I was originally hired to do five years ago. The good thing is that part doesn’t involve a whole lot of work. It’s more of a step side-ways.

This move will help me move to the counselor position when the current counselor goes on maternity leave. I’ll be working her job for a year while she’s enjoying having her third baby. When she comes back, I’m move back into the case worker position. Hopefully, this move will help me get a job with probation. The current case worker is moving on to become a CX (guard) at one of the provincial jails.

With the disruption that has been going on with my sleep of late, working day shifts really fucks me over badly. Worse yet, this week I had to switch to an evening shift on one day (working until midnight) because of a doctor’s appointment in the morning. This means that I had to get up at 6 am after working until midnight the day before. On three of the days I had a nap in the evening because I just couldn’t keep awake any longer…usually around 6 pm. I’d wake up at 10 and then go back to bed again at 1 or 2. I’d wake up around 5 and then doze until dragging myself out of bed between 6 and 6:30.

Boy had another toenail removed yesterday. More to the point, he got it re-removed. He’s been having trouble with hangnails on his big toes for the past couple of years. They did a partial excision (taking it off on either side of the nail) but that didn’t stop the problem. Just after Thomas died, Boy kicked an ice buildup on the underside of my car and popped the nail mostly off the nail bed. That was removed the week before the memorial. His other big toe was having issues again with hangnails and so he made the appointment for late yesterday.

When I went in to see the doctor on Tuesday to get forms for Student Loans filled out, I got a requisition for massage therapy. I have to have one in order to have my supplementary health insurance cover the costs. I’ve been having a lot of problems with my stress being reflected in neck and upper back pain. It gets bad enough that it radiates down my back and through to the front of my chest. All I have to do is tip my head to the right and front a bit, and the muscles of my left back stretch out and pain shoots through to the front of my rib cage. I also talked about a couple of other things, but I can’t recall off-hand what they were. We did talk about Thomas and life after his death, both for me and for him (the doctor). He’s a good guy.

I cut the very tip of my pinky finger. You know, one would think that cutting up an avocado wouldn’t be quite such an issue, but I was a little less than careful and managed to cut straight down onto the tip of my finger. It bled like crazy. Now, it’s very contact sensitive so typing is an issue. As well, there is skin protruding above the fingertip that catches on things. I’m wearing one of those fingertip bandages. While offering my fingertip some nice protection, it’s making typing interesting.

My coworkers are hosting a fundraising steak night for Boy and I on Sunday evening. At first I was going to go, then I decided to stay home. It feels awkward that people are raising money for me. Then I decided to go anyway. Boy and I will be attending. Despite how awkward it is going to feel, those people are kind enough to buy tickets, attend and probably buy tickets on a dessert auction, raffle and 50/50 tickets. I should be ok enough to go and thank them.

After that I’ll drop Boy off at home and head to poetry. I’ll be late, probably not have a seat, but I’ll be there. I missed the past two weeks because I just couldn’t get out of the house. I want to go again. I don’t know how long I’ll keep going to the events. For now, it’s almost a compulsion and I feel greatly guilty if I don’t go.

For any Canadians out there reading. If you have Firefox and a subscription to Netflix, you can watch American content (the Canadian content being pathetically paltry) by downloading an add-on called “Media Hint”. This will allow you to view American content without having to use an American DNS. It makes life much less trouble. I’m disappointed that I haven’t been able to see the A&E programs I like (The First 48, for one), but there are lots of other programs that I’ve not looked at. Right now I’m watching “Alaska State Troopers”. I look forward to seeing more programs. I have Boy to thank for this joyous addition to our lives. He’s been watching all kinds of new shows, which is nice for him, because aside from his very sore toe, he’s been sick with a nasty cold and having something to entertain him as been a good thing.

There’s not a whole lot more to say right now. I’m thinking of laying down for another nap.

I didn’t tell him to be safe and careful and to remember that I loved him. That was what we said to each other for nearly all our married life. Once, when we were still relative newly weds, I forgot and his day was ruined because of it. Since then I’d been careful to remember. I didn’t this time. While I know it’s silly and pointless, I can’t help but get the feeling that if I’d remembered, he wouldn’t have died.

I don’t know if it’s because of this, or because I need the comfort food, but I’ve been eating bread again. I’ve also been paying the price of doing so with diarrhea and abdominal cramping. Right now I feel like I don’t have a right to be healthy. I have his entire supply of medications, including dilaudid. I’m not going to take them, but I still have them. Eating bread appears to be functioning as a low grade poisoning.

Sometime in the next few weeks I have to sell Clifford, the big red truck. Boy and I will empty it out, wash it and get it detailed before we do so. We’ll also see if we can fix the passenger seat. It’s stuck adjusted as far back as it can go. We couldn’t see anything in the way, but the lever isn’t working and I want to have it fixed before I sell the truck.

I’m not having much success in dealing with Thomas’s death. Everything that I do, everywhere I go, I’m reminded of his absence. I have to do much of the shopping alone now. I pay the bills. I drive Boy here and there around town. He’s not in the living room, at his computer. He’s not laying in bed snoring or reading his latest book. The only thing that appears to be still functioning is his Tumblr account. He used the queue function and, apparently, had enough to carry through for a long time.

I’ve sent a message to Facebook asking that the memorialize his account. This will mean that people will be able to write on his wall, but there will no longer be new updates and no friends can be added. We’ll see how long that takes. My co-worker, whose husband died a few years ago did that with his account. This way people can still “talk” to him in some small way.

I’m tired. Down to the bone, to the very core of my being, I’m exhausted. This past week I slept well on two nights. I’m pretty sure it was the sleep of the exhausted. Now I’m back to the usual 3 or 4 hours of disturbed, light sleep. I have thought of sleeping pills, but I don’t want to risk the addiction value, and I have enough drugs in the house as it is.

On a less death related note, I’m thinking of getting Netflix. I have to get the Canadian version of it. I could get the American version, but that would mean having to use a proxy server and that complicates my life a bit more than I can deal with right now. Having the Canadian version isn’t so bad as it has a lot of BBC programs available. However, having the American version would mean access to A&E and TLC and some of the other networks that broadcast true crime programs. EDITED TO ADD: I became a member of Netflix. Right now I have a free month. At first blush, I’m disappointed.

I’ve mostly settled into work. My schedule is going to be screwed up for the next while. One of our support staff quit and the case worker gave notice on Friday. This means that, until new staff is hired, cleared, and trained, current staff have to cover shifts. In a few months I’ll be taking over the counsellor job while the current counsellor goes on maternity leave for a year.

If they don’t hire a guy for the case worker position, I’m going to want it. It’s solid evenings, but I can live with having a regular hours instead of having to change from days to evenings each week. My weekends, however, would suffer. I’d have to work them and have a “weekend” on Tuesdays and Wednesdays instead.

It’s a word I rather like. I’m going to use it at work at the first opportunity.

I’m sick today. For the past two days I’ve been working with the disadvantage of laryngitis. My voice would cut in and cut out. Paging people over the loudspeaker was an interesting case of frustration to the point of having to ask the boss to do it for me. Today I woke up with a sore throat so I called in sick. There’s no point in being there if I hurt and I have no voice. I have to go in on the weekend so that I can write up the monthly and quarterly reports. It shouldn’t take too terribly long. I’ll not have to do the usual support work. I’ll just close myself into Admin and work away.

Today marks 1 month, 4 weeks, since Thomas died. Perhaps that’s why I’m sick. Perhaps my body just had enough and needed to shut down for a little while. I miss him terribly. I know that’s to be expected. I miss him all the time, but sometimes it’s more difficult to deal with than others. For example, when I’m reading comics and find one that I know would cause him to laugh, I’d email him the link. I loved hearing his chuckle across the rooms. There are a hundred different things that happen through the day that I would have either told him about or shared with him in some way or another. He’s not there anymore to do that with.

On the bright side, I’ve only gotten one, “He’s in a better place.” My co-worker said that people would say some very stupid things in their attempt to comfort me. Thus far there have only been two, this person and my brother-in-law. Last night Boy showed me the sympathy cards he got at work. It was very sweet of them. He was rather impressed that, as well as his co-workers, all the supervisors, and managers and even one of the owners signed the cards. He may not be over the moon about his job, he does (for the most part) like the people he works with. As well, Thomas worked there the year before last so several of them knew him and knew how close Boy was to his Dad.

That reminds me. I have to arrange to have the phone bill sent to me so it can be paid. I also have to talk to him about cancelling his phone and changing me to the primary account holder.

That’s all I want to write.

Sleep. I can’t sleep more than 4 or 5 hours at a go. I have problems falling asleep, then once I do, I have problems staying that way.

I know that it’s one of those things that comes with profound grief. That’s just one more of the issues that I have to deal with.

Today I pick up Thomas’s ashes, and do some more of the paperwork of death. I’ll be applying to Canada Pension for the widow’s benefit as well as death benefit that, depending on what was paid into the fund, will pay a little of the costs.

Today, Boy goes back to work. He’s been such a huge help and support for me. While I deal with the memorial, the paperwork, and all of that, he’s been doing the practical things like cleaning up the kitchen, tidying the living room, doing a load or two of laundry. This whole thing would have been so much more difficult without him.

Tomorrow I”m going back to work. I guess it’s the beginning of a new normalcy. I’m going to be finalizing the memorial venue today. Then the rest is just to arrange the obituary and let those on-line know of where and when it will be.

I’m finding that my chest hurts a lot. Not my heart, not inside, but my ribs. I feel like my ribs are too tight. My anxiety is heightened. I find it hard to look anything other than grim. To be expected I guess. Somehow it feels like life will never be fun again.

Tomorrow and Friday I’ll be working 7 am to 3 pm. That means I have to be up and out of the house an hour earlier than normal. What have I done to myself? Not a morning person doesn’t even begin to describe me.

I’ll be making the groomsmen’s presents for my boss. Apparently a little cross stitch I did for him that referenced a Star Wars quote, something about hokey light sabers and preferring a blaster, is the envy of his friends. For his wedding present I’m making a cross stitch of his and his fiance’s first names, the date of their wedding and a small princess and Darth Vader. So I had to text him and say that I won’t do any Darth Vader patterns but couldn’t say why. Yeah, he now knows what part of his present is.

I’ve been watching British cop and emergency shows on You Tube. If you like that sort of stuff, look for ukpolice4. You’ll be able to watch the same shows as me. They’re fill episodes, so none of that 10 minutes at at a go. I’m enjoying it.

While watching these shows, I did come to realize that certain accents create a lot of work for me. For instance, strong Welsh accents require a lot of concentration for me to consistently understand what they’re saying. There were times when I though the cops broke out in Gaelic just to screw with the audience. I’m sure they didn’t, that it was just the accent, but you never know.

Working at a half-way house has enabled me to watch drug sniffing dogs at work. There’s a “passive search” do that was being used to seek out people who were carrying drugs. I think it was ecstasy, pot, cocaine and heroin that the dog was trained to search for. The dog and handler would go into pubs. When the dog smelled drugs on or about a person it would indicate by sitting beside the suspect person. They caught an enormous number of people. There were places where you could tell they didn’t edit out bits and there were multiple indications in a row. Amazing.

English cops are a fascinating bunch. Did you know that there are only certain police officers who are qualified to do high speed chases? It’s true. Of course, we all know about bobbies not carrying guns. So not seeing the side arm as standard issue is definitely interesting. It’s a whole different world of law enforcement over there.

Thanks to the plague I contracted, I have chapped lips. I’m not used to chapped lips. Even in the dead of winter my skin is usually in good control, dryness-wise. Sure I use hand lotion, but my lips are nearly never a problem. Now I have to use lip balm to combat the effects of nasty old tissues needed to blow my nose. Happily I’m nearly done with the frequent need to blow my nose. The balm is helping a lot.

That’s it. I’ve lasted as long as I can. I’m taking my phone (so I can watch another video, and heading off to bed.

I haven’t posted in a very long time. Sorry. Chalk it up to me being lazy, really, really, really, lazy.

Let’s see, what have I been up to the past few months?

I spent time trying to get rid of various chinchilla babies that were born the Lucky (who got lucky) and Lola, the long suffering mom. Her first two litters weren’t litters, they were single babies. The next was two babies. After that she had 4. I think the four took the life out of her because she died this past Tuesday. I have no idea why, she wasn’t that old. But now I’m left with two female juveniles, one male and Lucky (who’s no longer as lucky as he once was). I’m going to get rid of the two females and keep the males. This way I won’t have interbreeding and I won’t have to worry about new babies.

My health, up to this past week, has been quite good. I haven’t been following the Paleo diet as I should and I’m struggling with wanting bread (a lot). I’ve also been eating sugars in the form of fancy shcmancy French vanilla coffee. I discovered recently that 7-Eleven does a sugar free French vanilla that’s quite tasty so I think I”ll be raiding their stores when I can afford to buy it. Over the last weekend I was feeling somewhat odd, itchy, throat, glands a little swollen…on Wednesday I was slammed with a throat so sore it was hard to swallow. I went home early that day and missed the next because of it. Today my nose started running. With luck this means that the cold is nearly run its course and I’ll be well again.

Work is going swimmingly. In July I’ll be taking over the counselor position. The current counselor is pregnant and she’ll be going on maternity leave (in Canada it’s a year long of paid maternity leave through the Employment Insurance program – so long as you’ve worked long enough). Well, technically, it’s less than a year with what’s called “parental leave” that the second spouse can take so long as the mother goes back to work. I think it’s 8 weeks of parental leave and 44 of maternity leave…Meh, it doesn’t matter. Either way I’m in the position for a year. She plans on returning so it’s a temporary thing.

I realized, this past while, that working with younger people has it’s draw back, especially if they’re your supervisors. I’m 52, 30 years older than either of them. This means barring them moving to other work, or being killed/crippled, I’m not going to advance in my present work place. This also means that I’ve been looking for, and applying to positions that I might qualify for at other places. Nothing has panned out, but I need something that pays more and offers me at least the hope of advancement. The worst of it is that I really do enjoy my job a whole lot. Though, yes, I’d rather win the lottery (who wouldn’t?) I don’t have issue going to work or being there and doing my job. Sometimes being middle aged sucks.

I’ve done some photography. Not a lot. Just some photos of a friend’s baby (Keller – who turned 4 weeks a day or two before the photos were taken). Here’s a couple that I processed (click on the image to see it at full size):

Keller snoozing on Thomas's chest.

and:

Keller's feet, Thomas's thumb.

For a time I got into making jewelry again. I haven’t for a few weeks because I’ve been doing cross stitch instead. I have a few presents to make, including one for my boss’s wedding. I’m still not feeling hugely inspired, despite making bracelets and some earrings. I discovered that some findings (that’s what the bits and bobs are called) aren’t nickel free. Specifically they’re small horseshoe shaped wire guides that help keep wire from kinking and breaking. I used them to attach the stone bracelet bands to a watch face (they went around the strap posts). Sadly, I react to the metal in those so I have to find some other solution to that issue.

I’ve been doing crafts with a co-worker/friend lately. She’s mad into scrapbooking and seems to like having the time set aside specifically to help her actually get stuff done. She’s been on two holidays that she’s working on, one to the Eastern USA/Canada and the other to a Caribbean cruise she went to in January. She’s quite the social butterfly so she finds that if she doesn’t set aside specific time to work on her scrapbooks, she doesn’t get anything done. It looks like a fun hobby and, heaven knows, I’m tempted, but it’s one that involves “collecting” stuff. I’m not so much into that part. I mean, when I die, what would people do with my scrapbooks. They would have little meaning to anyone other than myself, or possibly Thomas or Boy. It’s not like anything I do is historic importance. So, despite loving the smell of the paper, and seeing the gluing, sticking, pens, cutting, and other adult kindergarten activities, I’ll stick to what I’m doing right now.

We’re hoping to move from our present location. I don’t know where in town we’ll go, but we want to get out of this place. What’ll probably happen is that we’ll go into an apartment. Somehow, having an impersonal corporate landlord is much preferable to this one. Sad, to say.

I have a “smart phone”, android platform, fun to play with, has little batter life, phone. We decided to drop the land line and each of us has our own smart phone. I can text and call anywhere in Canada at no extra cost with my plan. International calls and texts are extra. If you want my phone number send me an email. If I know who you are, I’ll send it to you.

Well, It’s coming up on 0300 and I have to be up to shower and then head over for craft time.

I’ll try to update more often. Promise.

That’s the situation I’m in right now. I’m working day shifts this week and that means that sleep is all wonky. My normal pattern is to not sleep well on Sunday night (in this case it was Monday because it was a long weekend for us Cannucks), then by Thursday I have my sleep pattern sussed out to be able to survive through Friday. However, after hitting bed around 9:30 tonight, I woke up at midnight to Bran coughing and having to pee like crazy. I got up and then couldn’t get back to sleep.

It’s now nearly 4 am and I have to be up for work at 8.

I’ve been watching “Deadly Women” episodes on You Tube. It’s a good way of spending time.

I made a discovery. It appears that the videos that are displayed on my Android tablet are very different, or lacking, from the computer display. I’ve found some on each of the formats that aren’t on the other. I can’t figure it out. I’ve been spending all night watching videos that I can’t find on the tablet. It’s the same channel.

I’ve been having to wear the splint on my left arm again. My tendonitis has gotten bad again. It hurts to turn my wrist, so things like turning keys (like I have to do to open doors at work) is very painful. The worst part is that it’s been very hot, and extremely humid so wearing the splint is really uncomfortable. But it’s better than taking a ton of ibuprofen all day long.

Dang. I have a mosquito bite. I’d hoped to avoid that this year despite the heavy and frequent rainfall. Speaking of which, I looked at a paper not long after the start of the spring thaw, the headline said that it was supposed to be a dry summer. That’s not been the case. We’ve had some very violent storms which include hail, heavy winds and tornadoes. The tornadoes have all avoided populated areas. The most damage done has been to farm yards. There have been some very impressive photos of cluster tornadoes.

I’m going to try and sleep again. I have three hours (if I don’t get up until 7 am) to try and get in a nap. I know that I’ll feel like shit after, but I if I don’t I’ll have huge issues staying awake at work in the afternoon…and morning.

Let’s see:
• Bran and I continue to work on getting my hobby work space built. I have photos on my Clicks blog (button on the right) if you want to see our meagre progress thus far.
• I finally got rid of the drain last Friday (the one before the one just past). I was greatly relieved to have that gone. I leaked for the night (laid down a towel to keep the bed dry, but it was healed over by morning. I have a lot of scarification on my belly now. I can’t say I’m happy about that, but I’m relieved to be a more complete person again.
• I began walking with Bran on Wednesday last week. He goes to a cardiac rehabilitation program that is subsidized by the provincial government. He, Boy and I walk around a track. On Friday last week I was feeling ill so didn’t go. I doubled my walking on Monday because I learned a valuable lesson. Clothing that is tight around an internal seam will limit what one can do. Loose clothing has no such limits. Tomorrow I’ll be wearing newly laced shoes (to try and solve a numb foot issue) and try to walk the entire 40 minutes.
• My tax refund is being held up wherever they are holding it. It was pulled for assessment or something for some reason. I’m to call by Dec. 22 if I haven’t received anything before then.
• Bran’s cast came off last Friday. He was having issues with his thumb becoming numb and having chafing problems. So he went in, it was x-rayed and the techs removed it. He’s inordinately pleased about simple things, like washing his hands.
• I spent time today looking at the possibility of immigrating to another country. Bran and I considered Costa Rica but they don’t recognize same-sex marriages even when the marriage is legal in the home country. That was my search criteria. I looked at Sweden, Ireland, Norway, Scotland, Spain and Portugal. Thus far Spain and Portugal are ahead because they are more temperate.
• After looking at other countries to move to I checked out the government job sites here and found one that I could apply for in the province. I finished up the application a few minutes ago. Hopefully I’ll hear something from them. I saw a pile of boner errors on my previous application and corrected them. Then I read through several times to make sure I didn’t screw up again. I hope I caught them all since simple errors aren’t a good thing.
• Bran thinks that the renovations the landlord did last year included adding some (if not all) of the downstairs suite’s wiring to our meter. This is because somehow our power usage doubled. While it’s possible we used that much power with the air conditioner and the computers, it’s not fully likely. Personally I wouldn’t put it past the landlord to be trying to save himself money with a fast one. On principle I don’t trust landlords.
• My weight is fairly steady since getting out of hospital. That’s unsurprising considering my activity level dropped considerably after the surgery. Hopefully the walking will help and then I’ll be going back to work at the beginning of January.
• Since beginning the work on my hobby corner I’ve been craving doing something. What I’ve been doing is tracing patterns onto tracing paper to transfer onto cloth for embroidery and beading. I also want to get back to making jewelry again. I really would like to make it a paying venture. I’ll have to figure out a way of doing that sometime that doesn’t involve Etsy. There are too many re-sellers there. When a place says they can make 10,000 dresses for your chain to sell, you can bet that they’re not an individual crafts person. What makes it worse is that when members make it known in the forums the thread gets shut down. You can see that if you go to Regretsy where they post that stuff. It’s hard enough for an individual craftsperson to get sales without re-sellers getting the edge.
• I want to win the lottery.
• I’m way behind on others’ blogs. I need to go read them.

This is what’s been happening since I last posted:
• I lived with the drain in until today (so, 4 weeks). The site had ceased to drain off much fluid and the drain was beginning to cause more irritation so it was removed this afternoon. I can now sleep on my right side but I have a towel on the bed because the drain site will leak fluid until it heals over.
• I was freed to drive again today as well. Bran has been very sweet about driving me around to various places. He’s now free to not.
• Bran fell the week before my surgery. It wasn’t until I was home and his wrist continued to bother him that he went into his own doctor and discovered that his wrist was, in fact, broken. He was sent to one of the hospital clinics for a brace. The techs there put him in a cast. The cast should be coming off in a couple of weeks.
• November 11, 2011 was my 10 year anniversary of blogging. That’s right, ten years ago on that day I opened my Diary-X account. About a month or so later I opened it up to other readers and then began reading the blogs of other people. VUBoOQ‘s blog was the first blog of another person I read. He was Enviroboi back then.
• We got snow. A lot of it is gone because of a recent thaw. I had a slip and fall earlier in the week on an icy patch (since been deiced with a vengeance). Luckily I didn’t hurt by belly at all, just a sore ankle and left wrist.
• I had my nails done (gel) and though was generally pleased, I was specifically unhappy so I won’t be going back to the place I’d gotten them done. It’s been weird having long nails and I had to get used to them. I still hit the wrong keys a lot.
• Boy has become unhappy at work. There was a change of supervisors and the current one is an asshole. Actually, he’s the one that Bran called an asshole and got a few days off because of it.
• Bran began working on creating my hobby/work space. I posted a couple of starting photographs on my Tumblr if you want to see what the beginning looks like. I’ll post regular updates as we progress on making a workable space. It’s where all my hobby stuff is, theoretically at least, supposed to be stored.
• I got a light box so I can trace photos and make embroidery/beading patterns. Using it has been fun. It gives me the illusion of being artistic without actually having any talent.
• I haven’t lost any weight since coming out of hospital. That’s to be expected though. My activity level is significantly lower than it was before I went in. I shall be joining Bran 3X/week at the Saskatoon Field House for his exercise in the Cardiac Program offered there. I can join him for $25 a month and we’ll be walking or cycling. I figure I can support him and have motivation to get my ass moving for an extended time.
• I continue to go into work to do the administrative work for the program I work. It gets me out of the house and forces me to be somewhat social. It also enables me to see my boss live up to his commitment of wearing a fake mustache for Movember. He can’t grow his own mustache to save his butt, so he said that for every $200 raised he’s wear a fake for a week. Needless to say I was the first one to donate. Yes, I’m evil and he knows it.
• Bran, Boy and I continue to take care of our chinchillas. I’m hoping they did tonight. I went to bed to have a nap with Bran and then asked if I could stay in bed when the alarm went off to go pick up Boy and do the cage. Bran said it was ok so that’s what I did. When I got up 1/2 hour ago Boy had already gone to bed and Bran was also in bed.

Thank you to all for your well wishes during my recovery. Having support really does help.

It never occurred to me, but until now, when Bran mentioned it, “discharge” isn’t necessarily a good word to associate with the word “hospital”.

He made me laugh.

Recovery is going well. The staples came out yesterday though the drain remains so long as it is sucking out fluid that is collecting where the gut used to be. The incision line itches like crazy sometimes though.

I got my nails done all fancy, but I’ll be going to a different place since I wasn’t fully satisfied with the job that was done. I’m finding myself having to get used to having nails while I’m typing.

I’ve been spending most of my time resting and recovering from the extreme sensory over stimulation of last week. I can tolerate music now, that’s a good thing. I’ve also joined a forum group at Thanatos.net. Though some might find the subject of death, memorial photography and the like rather macabre and disturbing it is an extension of my interest in crime and forensics. Memorial photography was popular in Victorian times with the advent of photography. For some, a photo of the corpse of their loved one was the only real, tangible reminder of their existence. This remains true today with the popularity of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep a non-profit organization of volunteer photographers who help grieving parents of infants that are born dead or die soon after birth. Anyway, it’s all in my bailiwick.

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