Seismic Twitch

After 10 days in hospital, Bran is home in the loving clutches of his family. We won’t be answering the phone or door all weekend so we can reconnect. He’s on a shit pile of meds, but they’re all going to help him stay alive. I have more thyroid hormone so I’m good. I also have new shower stuff that smells nice (and not like a fruit salad).

This has been a hard week and a half. Now we all take time to heal.

There’s been both nothing to write and so much change in the past while since my last posting. After being moved to the cardiac ward above ground, Bran has improved dramatically. His spirits lifted with the ability to go for a walk. He now has a little bag that holds a monitor which transmits his heart information over air waves. He goes for short walks, generally 2-3 troops around the ward. This has helped his blood sugar control, his blood pressure, not to mention his morale.

He hasn’t had the second stent put in yet. They planned it for today and had him fasting in the morning, but something (probably an emergency procedure) pushed him off the schedule. We’re hoping for tomorrow. He was feeling somewhat low tonight so I texted him offering him a sugar free cake with a file baked in it. At any rate, hopefully tomorrow will be the magic stent insertion. That would mean if all went well, he’d be coming home on Saturday.

They’re still trying to poison Bran. Night before last, for supper, they gave him (a diabetic) sweet and sour chicken on white rice. Yeah. The nurse hunted down a meal that Bran could eat without sending him into a diabetic coma. He got cream of wheat again as well. What is wrong with these people?! They’re supposed to know what the fuck they’re doing and yet they make such frequent mistakes I have to wonder who’s running the show. A friend of ours is in another hospital in town. She has a severe wheat allergy. She got cream of wheat too. I guess it’s their way of cleaning out patients. Kill them.

I have a bit of a full day tomorrow. I have to pick up a package from the post depot. Then I have to get a script filled and request the pharmacist fill one of Bran’s. Then it’s off to the university to have the department head sign my withdrawal letter. Then off to visit Bran…unless he’s downstairs having the stent put in. If he is then I might just go home, leaving Boy there, and get more sleep.

I’ve not mentioned Boy much in all this. He’s been exceptional. Not that it’s unusual for him to be so, but even more than the usual exceptional-ness. He’s gone to visit his Dad on his own, is cooking for himself because I’m not home to do so, and is generally helping out a whole lot which reduces my stress levels considerably. He’s been the joy of joys of my life. He’s also helped me hold myself together. It distresses him to see me distressed and he does his level best to ease things for me. I couldn’t have asked for a better son.

Today I went to training at the CSC training centre. It was presented by two police officers (one from Saskatoon, one from RCMP in Regina) and one CSC analyst. It was all about organized crime and street gangs in Saskatchewan. It was an extremely interesting presentation by three very intelligent and savvy men. Saskatchewan has it’s share of the well known gangs like Hell’s Angels, but vastly outnumbering them in membership is the Aboriginal gangs like Native Syndicate, Indian Posse, former Crips now Cash Boyz, and Terror Squad. Some of the gang members, some rather high ranking members, have come through the centre for urinalysis or as part of their reporting requirements. We’ve never had trouble with them, but the potential issues are rather scary. We never house known and active gang members at the house…thank goodness, but we don’t have control over who comes on for extra reporting requirements.

Anyway, after that it was my regular shift. Thank goodness everyone was in a good mood. One guy is going to find out the hard way next time I’m on evenings that doing his laundry in the evening means getting it done before 11, not ignoring it and then “remembering” that it needs to be dried for the next day. It’s all about responsibility. He’s always trying to get away with short cuts and special exemptions. Tonight I was just too tired to care. I won’t be so forgiving next time.

In a few weeks I’ll be going to a “Creating Choices” thing at Wanaskewin. This one will be focusing on women prisoners somehow. If you google Creating Choices you’ll encounter a document created by CSC (Correctional Services of Canada) in response to the scathing Arbour Commission Report (that you can also google) about “certain incidents” at Prison for Women at Kingston Penitentiary (aka P4W). Of course, being a large bureaucracy they’re very adept at making it look like they’re making progress in terms of positive change without actually doing anything. Canada went from having a central prison for women to having 5 prisons for women as well as healing lodges (low security prisons for Aboriginal female prisoners that should be focusing on Aboriginal traditions and healing). The healing lodges are all on reserves.

Anyway, I hope it’s as interesting as today’s stuff was.

I’ve decided, after talking it over with Bran, and much thought and consideration (redundancy can be fun too), to withdraw from the graduate studies program. After Dad died it became somewhat pointless and now with Bran becoming sick it’s just one more pressure on me to try and deal with.

I was going to take a year off to consider my options, but the requirements to get that year off are far too intrusive on my privacy to even consider. As someone who’s been on welfare and had that department’s nose in my life, I have no wish to have another bureaucrat decide things for me. So I’m going to print up the withdrawal letter tonight, get the department head to sign it and turn it into the grad studies people and be done with it. Maybe I’ll regret it and try again at a later date, but somehow I doubt I’ll want to.

Now I’m home after 16 hours of work. I’m trying to wind down but it’s not working very well. I guess I’m over stimulated or something. I’d love to have a cup of coffee right now but that would screw with my sleep and it’s stupid enough right now.

He’s been moved from CCU to a regular ward. I’m enormously relieved. He’ll be there until they do another angiogram and insert another stent. Then he’ll be back in CCU as they monitor his heart after that surgery. If all goes well he’ll be out by next weekend, maybe early the week after. I hope for the sooner than later.

He’s got some irony happening there. They’re monitoring his blood sugars because they aren’t coming down. However, they’re not feeding him right. Get this, instead of using low fat mayo for a ham salad they used orange juice (Hello! Sugar!). He gets a couple slices of regular whole wheat bread. (Hello! Carbs! Sugar!). I’ll be taking him slices of our whole grain bread so that he can eat that instead. Not only is it lower in overall carbohydrates, they’re slow carbs (less quickly converted into sugars). I’ll also be taking him nuts and some apples. Another reason his sugars aren’t coming down is he can’t do much physically. The farthest he’s been allowed to walk is to his commode (I have to tell you about this one, it’s great!) so he’s not burning any of the sugars his body makes. He also can’t take his metformin because it interacts with the dyes used in the angiogram so they’re trying to control things with insulin.

When he gets out he’ll be doing small increments of exercise, building up to 60 minute walks each day. He was told to walk on level ground. We had a good laugh at that considering we live on a hill. No matter which way he goes he’s going to have to talk up a hill. The only major dietary change will be having to watch fat intake. That’s easy enough to do when one is cooking for oneself. Of course, trips to KFC and A&W are going to have to disappear for the most part.

While we were there I gave him a back and neck massage. He was complaining of a headache at the back of his head so I worked on his upper and middle back as well as his neck and scalp muscles. While it didn’t get rid of all the headache, it helped reduce it. Not long after that he was sleepy and wanted a nap so Boy and I left.

From the hospital Boy and I went to Go 4 Sushi (a rather unfortunate name for a sushi place on the prairies – with lots of gophers). It was expensive, $25 each, but it was tasty. It has the same or similar quality as Nagoya, but Nagoya costs a bit less and has a wider variety of choices of every type of sushi. They also have a buffet we could have eaten from. I didn’t see that until we were nearly done eating. Again, if I’m going to do a buffet I’ll go to Great Buffet for the same reasons as doing sushi at Nagoya…cheaper and wider variety.

Then we drove home. I’m getting better at driving the car. When Boy and I first got in the car getting into first gear was a trial by whiplash. By the time we were on our way home my shifts out of first were much smoother. Now I have to learn how to not roll backwards from a stop on a hill when I’m shifting into first.

That’s another change…Bran isn’t allowed to drive for four weeks after he gets out of hospital. That means that I’ll be doing all the driving to everywhere. I’m going to get a lot of practice. It makes me wish we had a car with an automatic transmission. I’ll also be using Boy to do laundry. We’ll be doing that next Saturday morning. I’ll also be taking the car to work until Bran gets out of hospital. I need to have the ability to leave work quickly if the need comes up.

That’s the news from here. Thank you for all your good thoughts, prayers and the like. Bran appreciates them (yes, I told him) and is heartened by all the care…as am I.

Bran is doing better. He’s off iv fluids though they still have an iv catheter in his hand (just in case). His blood pressure and such are good. His paracardium is inflamed causing him some discomfort, but that’s apparently not too uncommon when the heart has been aggravated. He’s in good spirits so that’s good.

He’ll have to wear a medic-alert bracelet from now on. We’ll have to take it to a jeweler to get the chain lengthened. They gave him a heart healthy breakfast and lunch. Sadly they weren’t diabetic healthy meals. This means he hasn’t had a whole lot of food today. Hopefully supper will be better for him.

Right now he’s in the CCU in bed 9. He hopes to be transferred to a regular ward but doesn’t know when that’ll happen. Probably not until tomorrow at earliest since they’re not letting him put his legs over the side of the bed yet. Tonight the nurse is going to let him get up and do some stretching. That’s all the physical activity they’re allowing for now.

There’s no word on when he’ll be getting out. The cardiologist will be installing another stent in an artery sometime before they cut him loose. Bran doens’t know when that’s going to get done. It looks like it’s going to be a while though.

We kept our visit short as I was finding myself getting agitated and that was affecting him.

If you’re going to visit him keep in mind that they only allow 2 visitors at a time. I don’t know what the visiting hours are, a quick call will tell you that. Also keep in mind that RUH parking lots are also expensive…usuriously expensive.

Bran (Thomas) phoned while I was in the shower. He told Boy that he’s feeling much better now. He’s not up to jumping out of 3rd floor windows into snow drifts, but much better regardless.

I shall be going to visit him in a little while. I’ll let you all know what rules CCU has around visiting and which room he’s in. I’m sure that he’ll enjoy getting visitors.

Now I’m off to pack up some toiletries and such for him. I don’t know how long they’re going to hold onto him, so I have to plan for a bit of a stay.

Thank you, friends, for your concern and such. I’ll be sure to let him know.

I got a call (expected) from one of the RUH cardiologists at 0340 this morning. They did the angiogram. It showed a blockage of an artery. They put a stent in to open up the artery and allow for blood flow to the heart. Bran’s heart slowed down during their procedure and they gave him medication to increase his heart rate. Otherwise, the cardiologist told me, that Bran is doing well. He said that Bran was adament that he call to let me know that he was ok, the procedure is done and he was in the CCU at RUH.

So, if you want to visit him, that’s where he is. I don’t know how long they’re going to hold him there.

Bran, aka Thomas, had a heart attack today. He’s on his way to Royal University Hospital cardiology department (probably already in ER there), transferred from St. Paul’s Hospital where we went at about 9:30. There is some heart damage to the inferior part of his heart (the bottom). They’ve put him on new medications and taken him off one which has a tendency to cause heart problems. He’s also on a nitro patch and morphine for the discomfort he’s feeling.

The RUH cardiology department is going to do an angiogram tonight. They’re supposed to call after it’s done and when he’s settled into a room at the hospital.

I’m holding it together, just. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much tonight.

On the outside wall of a gas station in the Laurel Highlands in PA

Let’s see. The highlight of my week was getting my fingers caught in the car door. Again. This time it was my forefinger and middle fingers to get the brunt of the damage. Bran rolled his eyes and Boy was underwhelmed (it was he who closed the door on them, again). My forefinger isn’t very happy with bruising across the nail and a nasty scraping of skin off just below it. The middle finger just has a bit of bruising under my fingernail. Nothing was broken and everything is healing nicely. My boss is threatening to get me a helmet to wear because he’s convinced that someday I’m going to decapitate myself. Bran and I figure that something like lacrosse gloves or hockey gloves would be of more use. The residents just wince and then laugh at me.

My piercings are healing up nicely and look marvellous. I love them! I’m already thinking about getting more. The next one I want to get is tragus done next. I just can’t decide if I want to get both ears done or just one, and if one, which one. I might not though, I just read about how it might interfere with the use of ear buds. Hmmm…I’ll have to think some more. It’s a good thing I don’t get holes punched in my ears more often than once a year or longer.

I got some of my beading orders. I have the display racks for bracelets and earrings and the earring cards. They’re set aside and will go into a plastic box when I get one. I have more beads and tools. Alas, I ordered the wrong wire. I ordered 1/2 round. I should’ve ordered round. 1/2 round is shaped like it says. It works well for wire wrapping but not for other things. I’ve been playing with it regardless and done a few nice things. I ordered the round wire last night. I should arrive sometime next week. I got a new, metal jig. It’ll come in handy when I made chandelier earrings. I can also make my own hooks an closers with it.

I have a tool that I call the clapper. It’s two pieces of thick plastic, similar to what cutting boards are made of but somewhat harder. You put the metal work in between them and either use a hammer or hand, pound on the top piece. It helps to make the metal harder without damaging it.

I also have a neat tool that will allow me to make my own jump rings of various sizes as well as other round shapes with wire. I also have a pair of nylon tip pliers that will help me make scrolls without damaging the wire at all. Before I got this tool the pliers I used marred the wire. That makes oxidizing more likely. Of course, the wire I’ll be working with won’t oxidize as it will be surgical grade stainless steel.

I got some leopard skin jasper and aquamarine beads. They’re all quite lovely.

I’ve been looking at real estate in town for the past couple of weeks as well. It’s good to see that there are houses available that we’ll be able to afford once the will is settled and dispersed. We probably won’t end up in the area that Bran most desires. That tends to be an expensive area anyway, but prices are still coming down. It’s possible that by the time everything is ready (including us) we’ll be able to afford to buy in that area. There is one loft condo in an old warehouse that would be nice. 1800 square feet of living area. It’s out of our affordable range, but who knows? Maybe we’ll win the lottery, right?

I’m surprised at the number of new houses being built that don’t have things like closets at the front and back door. I mean, if you’re coming inside after gardening or even taking the trash out on a rainy day, don’t you want to have a place to put your shoes that isn’t in front of the fridge? If you have company come over, don’t you want a place to hang their coats? I just don’t understand that. So it’s a requirement for me, to have that.

Another annoyance to me is a fireplace. I mean, sure, they look good, but they interfere with furniture arrangement. I wouldn’t use a fireplace. When we had one at the last place we rented we only used it a couple of times. It was never used for heating. We finally put the couch in front of it because that’s where I wanted seating. That goes for those wood stoves too.

I like the idea of a galley kitchen. There are lots of houses that have that and then the eating area to the side. It’s similar to what many apartments have in terms of cooking/eating arrangement. It’s compact. The weird ones have the fridge or stove sitting all by themselves off to the side like little orphans. I want a surface next to the stove to put stuff if needs must.

You’ll get to see photos of the place we move into and of the yard. Chances are the yard will change because I’m not keen on grass. It’s a large monoculture space that lacks colour variety. Though I won’t take up the entire lawn immediately, I’ll work on making flower, vegetable and herb gardens larger and larger until there is little or no grass left. Perennials take less care than grass and are definitely prettier. Flowers encourage the population of pollinators like bees and butterflies. We need more of them in the world.

A friend is in town visiting. Right now she’s staying at other friends’ places but on Sunday she comes here. So I’ll be helping finish up the cleaning (the bathroom is long overdue) and getting laundry done. Laundry needs to be done anyway. We’re all kind of short on clothes.

That’s about it. I think I’m going to take apart some bracelets.

Let’s see. The Fringe Festival was a bust so far as selling my jewelry goes. I sold only about 10 pairs of earrings and no bracelets. There were other people there selling earrings made of feathers, glass and plastic who had better sales. Of course their prices were like, $2 a pair and such. I can’t go that low. I can spend upwards of 1/2 hour putting together a single pair of earrings (some of the more complex chandelier earrings take even longer) and use supplies that cost more than a plastic bead would cost. The shoppers wanted cheap stuff. I’m sure they got that. I hope the people who bought my stuff are happy and remain happy for a long while.

Bran was steady in his dedication to selling my stuff. He was out there every day, chatting to people, being all friendly and shit. Definitely stuff I have little tolerance for. Boy would go out and help him set up at times when our friend had to be at work. I’m extremely grateful to both of them for that.

Now I have to rethink my jewelry. People keep telling me my stuff is good and that they like it but it just doesn’t sell. That’s really discouraging. Even when the prices were cut to $10 a pair, $15 for 2 pair and $19 for 3 pair and the bracelets prices were cut from $20 to $10, nothing sold. Even people who wore dangly earrings didn’t even glance at my stuff. I just don’t get it.

One thing I thought of, judging from some of the stuff I heard, is for show sales in person, I’m going to concentrate on making simple birthstone earrings. maybe a few fancy chandeliers but nothing epic. People seemed to like the idea of having their birthstones. I heard this from people looking at the wrapped stone necklaces made by the woman we were sharing a table with. She made out fairly well and people were always more interested in her stuff than mine.

After that, I just don’t know what to do. I know I overpriced my stuff for what people were willing to pay on Etsy. That makes me sad because then my work is undervalued, if that makes sense. Plus I have to pay a shit pile to ship stuff and people don’t want to pay that either. I don’t want to lose money making jewelry. I mean, I love doing it, but I don’t want to be giving it away.

I’m feeling rather discouraged about it right now.

On a brighter, if more painful note, I got two more piercings in my left ear. I now have holes from my lobe nearly to the top of my helix. There are seven holes in total. I might get two more in the helix, I’m not sure. These last two hurt like the dickens!

Today, doing as I’m supposed to do, I went to the drug store to pick up some saline to clean the piercings. Unfortunately I picked up lens solution, not saline solution. I have to return it and get the saline. I feel somewhat stupid about picking that.

The landlords are coming into town on Tuesday so we’ve started trying to get the house less messy. We’re still going through stuff and getting rid of things we don’t want. That always creates mess. I swept up my area and the small foyer of the bedrooms and bathroom. Now to sweep the rest of the house. My back doesn’t like doing that but it has to be done. I’ll continue on and sweep up the kitchen and get the floor washed (at least where there’s obvious stuff on the floor so it looks clean).

I’ve been looking at houses around town. When Dad’s will is completed with probate and the taxes are all filed, his estate will be distributed. Probate shouldn’t take too long as he only had the house for property. When that comes through then Bran and I are going to be looking for a house, probably come next summer. I know it’s pointless to look right now if we won’t actually be looking to buy until next year, but I can’t help it. I want to stop being a tenant so very much. I’m tired of the limited space we have. I’m tired of our stupid kitchen (who puts a 4′ X 5′ island in a kitchen that’s hardly 10′ square?) and not being able to get around in it conveniently. I’m tired of having not storage space and having shit in the bedrooms that should be in a pantry or basement. I’m tired of not being able to do what I want in my own space.

Yeah. I’m a sad and pathetic case.

Well, I’m off to sweep up the kitchen.